Living in the Two Hearts

My Spiritual Insights and Musings

Archive for the ‘Personal Story’ Category

A three-part series on my coming home to the Catholic Church, or best stated, “My return home to Rome”.

It’s been a long time…

Posted by Anne Elizabeth on November 29, 2017

Where have you been?

For those on the email list: sorry the WHOLE post showed up. I’m having some issues with feedburner. Hopefully I’ll have that fixed before the next post. 🙂

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME

It’s been a super long time since I last visited my site to write anything. As I indicated at the beginning of my last repost of the Spiritual Desert, God ask of me to rid myself of all my distractions. Well, as it turned out, it was a bit more than that.

SO, WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?

In a nutshell, I’ve been almost called back into voluntary poverty by entering a sort of Hermitage of prayer and fasting that requires great diligence, LOVE of God and LOVE of neighbor, and true discipline as I radically answer the call of heaven given to mankind through Our Lady, AND confirmed to me in Sacred Scripture.

But unlike the first time, I’m not leaving my sparse dwelling excepting on two days of the week, Sundays and Wednesdays and of course any Holy Days of Obligation. This call to prayer is in answer, as well, to Our Lady’s call over the last several months. She began to reach out to me in February, when I was looking for full-time work:

Dear Children! Today I am calling you to PROFOUNDLY live your faith and to IMPLORE the Most High to STRENGTHEN it, so that winds and storms cannot break it.  May the roots of your FAITH be PRAYER and HOPE in eternal life.

Mom then reminded me, and those paying attention that we’re certainly in a “time of grace” so it’s super important to:

…work on yourselves through renunciation (renounce your distractionsand the call to CONVERSION – to be people of CLEAR and PERSEVERING FAITH and HOPE … Feb 25, 2017 Message, emphasis added by me.

Umm..yeah…sure…

Did I do this? In part. I started to pay more attention to the Mass, began focusing better, making confession more regularly, but I still struggled. I needed more work. I didn’t TRUST enough that GOD would provide. I became distracted… and I stayed away from mom’s gentle nudges…

Readers, those who continue to come back time after time even though I had nothing new written (THANK YOU!), remember what I wrote above, I was a lover of distractions. Whether is was because I was stressed or because I was depressed, I loved to distract myself from reality.

I enjoyed my comfort foods MORE than I enjoyed time in prayer (gluttony). I enjoyed vegging out with a good flick RATHER THAN studying the Word of GOD (laziness).

Though I surrounded myself with the classroom of silence in between these things, my mouth and brain would often go over past events/hurts that would work me up to anger and/or discontentment with either myself or the situation…THAT I COULDN’T CHANGE (acedia). And so I continued in my distractions, even when GOD provided me with full-time work in March.

Anne? Are you listening?

Then mom tried again and reached out to me in May while I was at work with a sudden inspiration to see what was coming out of Medjugorje and I read this:

Dear Children! The Most High has permitted me to call you anew to conversion. Little children, open your hearts to GRACE to which YOU are CALLED.   Be Witnesses of Peace in this peaceless world…

Here is the kicker of the message which should resound with all of us and the importance of seeking after Heaven and not the passing riches of this world:

Your life on earth is PASSING. PRAY, that through prayer, you may YEARN FOR HEAVEN and the things of Heaven…

Because when we do, and I promise you this will happen:

...your hearts will see everything differently. YOU ARE NOT ALONE; I am with you and interceeding before my Son, Jesus, for you… May 25, 2017, emphasis added by me.

Okay, no doubting this call. But did I answer it? Nope. Hey, I had a valid excuse in place: I work, when I come home, I’m tired. I need my distractions.

No, what I needed was GOD. I needed to spend significant time with Him. I needed to learn how to really pray, but at this time (May 2017), I was too caught up in my job to really focus in on what Heaven was asking me. I finally had full-time work, money coming in to pay off the bills, and it was GOD who brought me to the job. So give me a break!

Anyone else see a pattern here? Before I was too stressed and depressed about NOT have full-time work, so I needed my distractions. Then when I received full-time work, what did I say?! Sure, mom, I’ll let go of my distractions and pray more… No, not even close.

“Mom, I’ll work on praying better and seeking conversion later, when I have more time.”

But if anything can be said about Heaven and its inhabitants, PERSISTENCE and PATIENCE are common virtues. So in June, and several sessions of Adoration conversations later, Mom again gave me (and others I’m certain) an even MORE URGENT call to prayer:

Dear Children, as in other places where I have come to you, also here I am calling  you to prayer

But this time she added some specifics as to what this praying was to involve:

Pray for those who do not know Jesus; who do not know the love of GOD; against sin; for the consecrated – for those whom my Son called to have love and the spirit of strength for you, for the Church

 Is there ever a more needed time to pray for those who are in authority in our church?! For those consecrated who are supposed to be examples to us in Prayer and Love of the church? Are you praying for them, Bishops, priests, deacons, and religious? Are you? … But Mom continues in her plea with a promise:

Pray to my Son, and the love which you experience from His nearness will give you the strength to make you ready for the works of love which you will do in His name.

This next part is what really hit me hard because of other things I had received in Adoration concerning our times:

My children, be ready. This time is a turning point. That is why I am CALLING YOU ANEW to FAITH and HOPE. I am showing you the way by which you need to go, and those are the words of the Gospel.

The Gospel states:

For I have given you and example, that you also should do as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his Master; not is He who is sent greater that He who sent Him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

As the Father has love Me, so have I love you; abide in My Love. If you keep My commandments, [Love God with all your heart, mind and soul…Love your neighbor as yourself. ~Mt 22:37, 39], you will abide in His Love. These things I have spoken to you, that My JOY may be in you, and that your JOY may be full.

~Jn 13:15-16; 15: 9-11, emphasis added by me

So mom continues with again renewed urgency:

Apostles of my love, the world is in such need of your arms raised towards Heaven, towards my Son, towards the Heavenly Father.

And what else is required?

Much humility and purity of heart are needed.

Have TRUST in my Son AND know that YOU CAN ALWAYS BE BETTER.

Because it all comes down to one thing:

For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual-hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. ~Eph 6:12

Thus heaven calls us through the Queen of Heaven:

My motherly heart desires for you, apostles of my love, to be little lights of the world, to illuminate there where darkness wants to begin to reign, to SHOW the TRUE WAY by your PRAYER and LOVE,..

BECAUSE the main point of it all is:

…TO SAVE SOULS. I am with you. Thank you. ~June 2, 2017, emphasis added by me.

Judgment

July’s message on the 2nd, revealed that:

…sins are multiplying, they are too numerous.

And again, Mom asked those who would respond:

I am imploring you to pray for the whole world. My heart is suffering…

I am teaching you how to be worthy of [Jesus’] LOVE, to direct your thoughts to Him, to live my Son.

JUST A SIDE NOTE: on July 13, 1917, the three shepherd children witnessed the following:

After the two parts which I have already explained, at the left of Our Lady and a little above, we saw an Angel with a flaming sword in his left hand; flashing, it gave out flames that looked as though they would set the world on fire; but they died out in contact with the splendour that Our Lady radiated towards him from her right hand: pointing to the earth with his right hand, the Angel cried out in a loud voice: ‘Penance, Penance, Penance!’.

Sins were pretty bad at that time too, but Our Lady was able to stay off judgment for a time. Divine Mercy followed with Sr Faustina just before the WWII broke out, and she too had witnessed this staying of judgment for a little longer:

I saw a resplendence beyond compare and, in front of this brilliance, a white cloud in the shape of scale. Then Jesus approached and put the sword on one side of it and it fell heavily towards the ground until it was about to touch it. Just then, the sisters finished renewing their vows. Then I saw Angels who took something from each of the sisters and placed it in a golden vessel somewhat in the shape of a thurible. When they had collected it from all the sisters and placed the vessel on the other side of the scale, it immediately outweighed and raised up the side on which the sword had been laid…Then I heard a voice coming from the brilliance: Put the sword back in its place; the sacrifice is greater. —Divine Mercy in My Soul, Diary, n. 394

I saw the Lord Jesus, like a king in great majesty, looking down upon our earth with great severity; but because of His Mother’s intercession He prolonged the time of His mercy…the Lord answered me, “I am prolonging the time of mercy for the sake of [sinners]. But woe to them if they do not recognize this time of My visitation.” —Divine Mercy in My Soul, Diary, n. 126I, 1160

Thus the NEED to respond to Mom’s calling on behalf of Heaven’s plans is REAL and URGENT. Many have been called, that I am certain, but how many have responded? Don’t know. I have, and really that’s all I can say.

THERE ARE THE NUTS AND BOLTS:

But the final words that made the call complete, not to mention it was quite clear that my full-time job was coming to an end (with ridiculous happenings that was so far fetched you wouldn’t believe me if I told you), are in the last part of the message of July 2nd:

But with the help of those of you who are HUMBLE, MODEST, filled with love, HIDDEN and holy, MY HEART WILL TRIUMPH..

PLEASE don’t get caught up in the circulating lie that the consecration of Russia hasn’t happened. Go HERE for correct information on that!.. Mom continues:

Love my Son above all and the whole world through Him. Never forget that each of your brothers, within himself, carries something precious – the soul.

Therefore, my children, love all those who do not know my Son, so that through prayer and the love which comes through prayer, they may become better; that the goodness in them could win; that souls could be saved and have eternal life.

GP & Me with younger sister, 2014

ON A PERSONAL NOTE TO THIS:

love all those who do not know my Son, so that through prayer and the love which comes through prayer, they may become better; that the goodness in them could win; that souls could be saved and have eternal life…

My grandfather passed away this past June, and had lived a life very much apart from belief in God. He had a lot of anger in him and would often explode if I mentioned even the word PRAYER. But I knew in my very soul that I was called to bring him to Christ. So from a distance of many states and two time zones, I prayed, I called regularly every every Sunday, and had even my prayer warriors praying.

The week before his “accident” that ended his life after some prolonged suffering, I received an urgency in my soul to do a week of intense prayer and fasting and immediately employed two of my most dedicated Prayer Warriors to assist me

When the week came, and his hip needed to be replaced, I KNEW this was it. He was 95yrs of age, routine replacements are no longer routine at this age. Sure enough, infection set in, went to his kidneys, and he passed away PEACEFULLY in hospice care. Yet God gave me and my other siblings a GREAT GIFT. A chance to say goodbye before his final breath. He called each of us, and when I spoke with him, I said, “I’ll be talking with you later in my prayers.”

And this man, hardened after years of hard living, was now humble, meek and mild. He responded to my statement with a gentle, “Yes, you will.”  He died in a state of grace BECAUSE of our prayers and fasting and Our Lady was able to get into his heart and work the miraculous! I have more to say on that, but it’s for another post.

Mom’s final words in this message:

My apostles, my children, my Son told you to love one another. May this be inscribed in your hearts and with PRAYER, try to live that love. Thank you!  ~July 2, 2017, emphasis added by me

Thus, at the end of August of this year, I made real steps to answer this call. A true act of FAITH, to be sure. One that required some serious study on prayer, which I’ll also be sharing down the road; and some tough decisions plus in-depth discernment on the particulars of this call. More on that later. But I bet I can guess what’s going on in many of reader’s minds:

WILL IT WORK?

To borrow from the words of a humble evangelist, “If God’s in it, IT WILL WORK.” ~Wells Gobble, Woodlawn, 2016, special features.

I will write more about other specifics with regards to my discerning this as God’s Will for me, but this post is already long enough! 😉 Until the next post!

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The Conclusion…well, part of it anyway…

Posted by Anne Elizabeth on August 3, 2009

A brief recap: Christmas Day dinner waSpenceiciously laced with the false sugar product that produced a serious effects from dizziness, to shortness of breath, a racing heart, and finally blackout moments.  After waking up the next morning completely healed I was warned to get out of the house and return home as quickly as possible.

Both parents seemed surprised that I was alive and walking, one more than the other, and that parent decided at the last minute to join the return trip just for the drive.  Well, THIS decision turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me…

The Three Miracles

The trip from the moment parent’s town stops and the highway begins is marked by a famous brewery that often brings in lots of business with their tours.  The moment of entry back into Cheyenne occurs at another well known location of a buffalo ranch that is marked by a large cut-out of a buffalo that stands on top of a tall hill.  Between these two points, at 75mph, it takes 45minutes exactly.  The parent doing the driving always sets their cruise control to maintain that speed and thus taking a total of 45 minutes to drive.

Now, I had said above (in the recap) that my other parent’s decision to drive with us was a blessing in disguise, BECAUSE I was able to sit comfortably in the back seat where it is difficult to hear or respond to conversations happening in the front seat (unless of course you have a luxury car, which my parents do not).  So that entire trip I only had to respond two or three times to questions or comments made.

Back to the first miracle… The 45 minute trip took only 15 minutes!  I looked at my phone when we left the city outskirts (located next to the famous brewery) and noted the time.  I also noted the speed with which my parent had set.  Only in retrospect do I understand why my angels had insisted that I take special note of these details.  If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have appreciated the shortness of the trip and all that followed…

Second Miracle

When the car pulled up in front of my apartment I got out with my small bag and dress.  I didn’t have a lot of luggage or extra bags, so there was no reason for either of my parents to get out of the car, but they did.  Not only did they get out of the car but they followed me closely to my front door, into the house, and even to my bedroom at the back of my apartment.  I hadn’t realized they were that close until I had set my things down on my bed and turned around.

The moment I turned around and realized they were literally blocking the doorway I saw something come across their faces.  Their eyes became very wide and their faces became pale as they began to back up slowly.  I also noticed myself moving forward at the same speed but now with a distinct distance between them and myself.  I truly believe one of my more imposing angels had made himself visible.  Truly, they had a look of TOTAL FEAR on their faces as they continued to back out, all the way out the front door.

My angel had me close the door and lock it.  I then heard him say, don’t move, don’t even make a sound.  Stay where you are until I tell you to move. I was already perplexed and concerned with the warnings from this morning, then that very fast drive from point A to point B was still fresh in my mind; giving me every cause not question him now.  So I stayed put AND quite.

My parents seem to remain on that front porch for a good ten minutes.  I could not make out what they were saying to one another, but neither did I move so I could hear them better.  Then, the screen door closed and I could hear retreating footsteps going down the front steps.  I was about to move when my angel said again and louder with great urgency, DO NOT MOVE. Feeling foolish I froze and just tried to wait…

I heard my parents get into their car and start the engine…I DID NOT MOVE…I heard the car pull away and drive off…I DID NOT MOVE… I heard the car quietly return and idle for a time… I DID NOT MOVE.  Finally, their car drove off (for the second time), and my angel said urgently, Okay!  Go NOW! Run to your Father! Which meant, go to the Adoration Chapel located just up the road from me.

I booked-it out of my apartment, remembering to press the button to lock the front door, and ran up the block and a half  the Perpetual (24/7) Adoration Chapel…the same one I had spent much of my time in already that year (see previous writing).  When I arrived, I noticed the two Adorers stationed to sit with our Lord were comfortably in the outside chairs and reading.  This left the front kneelers available of which I took one.

Miracle Number 3… humility forbids me to publish it as part of the Post.  You’ll have to ask me directly for what happened.  Sufficiently to say, all that had occurred in the last two days was revealed to me with a direction concerning my parents and their care over me…

In the months that followed I did not hear from my parent, but I did hear from surrounding family members that seemed to be grasping at straws to see what I would do next.  I never had the desire to punish my parents for their actions, and I still DO NOT desire to even today.  God is the only one justified in punishment for evil.  I’m alive and doing very well.  No retribution do I seek.

What I do seek is their healing which can only happen when they “own-up” to what they did. So much anger, guilt, and resentment has resulted from their actions that any time I see a picture or hear their voices (very rare), they appear OLD and TIRED, as if some massive struggle from within has weakened their physical selves.  They are members of the Catholic Church , despite their cafeteria-way of practicing their faith.  They do have access to the Sacrament of Reconciliation which will begin their journey of healing!

All they have to do is ACCEPT the FREE GIFT of being Reconciled and EMBRACE the Love of God!  I have prayed and offered up petitions at healing Masses for so many years, so the graces ARE AVAILABLE and waiting!  All my family has to do is decrease within themselves so that the Lord may increase and begin to heal them from within utilizing these obtained graces.  I pray and will continue to pray that they will choose and accept healing.

Folks, this site is loaded with the reasoning behind the need for Reconciliation and Redemption.  Utilize what the Holy Spirit has provided us, read, study, learn, and LIVE what He teaches us in these writings.  Come before God, humble and meek, desiring only His goodness all the days of your lives.  God IS Love and Mercy; but He is also a Just Judge:

“…Souls that make and appeal to My Mercy delight Me.  To such souls I grant even more graces then they ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy… before I come as a Just Judge, I first open wide the door of My MercyHe who refuses to pass through the door of My Mercy must pass through the door of My Justice.” ~Diary St Faustina§1146

Previous Posts:

Healing Begins
Part 3 Continues…
Importance of Reconciliation
In Between Things

Nitty-Gritty
We Continue…

Recommended Reading:

Weeds Among Wheat
The Great Purification
Accept the Crown

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