Living in the Two Hearts

My Spiritual Insights and Musings

Archive for the ‘Personal Story’ Category

A three-part series on my coming home to the Catholic Church, or best stated, “My return home to Rome”.

The Conclusion…well, part of it anyway…

Posted by Anne Elizabeth on August 3, 2009

A brief recap: Christmas Day dinner waSpenceiciously laced with the false sugar product that produced a serious effects from dizziness, to shortness of breath, a racing heart, and finally blackout moments.  After waking up the next morning completely healed I was warned to get out of the house and return home as quickly as possible.

Both parents seemed surprised that I was alive and walking, one more than the other, and that parent decided at the last minute to join the return trip just for the drive.  Well, THIS decision turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me…

The Three Miracles

The trip from the moment parent’s town stops and the highway begins is marked by a famous brewery that often brings in lots of business with their tours.  The moment of entry back into Cheyenne occurs at another well known location of a buffalo ranch that is marked by a large cut-out of a buffalo that stands on top of a tall hill.  Between these two points, at 75mph, it takes 45minutes exactly.  The parent doing the driving always sets their cruise control to maintain that speed and thus taking a total of 45 minutes to drive.

Now, I had said above (in the recap) that my other parent’s decision to drive with us was a blessing in disguise, BECAUSE I was able to sit comfortably in the back seat where it is difficult to hear or respond to conversations happening in the front seat (unless of course you have a luxury car, which my parents do not).  So that entire trip I only had to respond two or three times to questions or comments made.

Back to the first miracle… The 45 minute trip took only 15 minutes!  I looked at my phone when we left the city outskirts (located next to the famous brewery) and noted the time.  I also noted the speed with which my parent had set.  Only in retrospect do I understand why my angels had insisted that I take special note of these details.  If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have appreciated the shortness of the trip and all that followed…

Second Miracle

When the car pulled up in front of my apartment I got out with my small bag and dress.  I didn’t have a lot of luggage or extra bags, so there was no reason for either of my parents to get out of the car, but they did.  Not only did they get out of the car but they followed me closely to my front door, into the house, and even to my bedroom at the back of my apartment.  I hadn’t realized they were that close until I had set my things down on my bed and turned around.

The moment I turned around and realized they were literally blocking the doorway I saw something come across their faces.  Their eyes became very wide and their faces became pale as they began to back up slowly.  I also noticed myself moving forward at the same speed but now with a distinct distance between them and myself.  I truly believe one of my more imposing angels had made himself visible.  Truly, they had a look of TOTAL FEAR on their faces as they continued to back out, all the way out the front door.

My angel had me close the door and lock it.  I then heard him say, don’t move, don’t even make a sound.  Stay where you are until I tell you to move. I was already perplexed and concerned with the warnings from this morning, then that very fast drive from point A to point B was still fresh in my mind; giving me every cause not question him now.  So I stayed put AND quite.

My parents seem to remain on that front porch for a good ten minutes.  I could not make out what they were saying to one another, but neither did I move so I could hear them better.  Then, the screen door closed and I could hear retreating footsteps going down the front steps.  I was about to move when my angel said again and louder with great urgency, DO NOT MOVE. Feeling foolish I froze and just tried to wait…

I heard my parents get into their car and start the engine…I DID NOT MOVE…I heard the car pull away and drive off…I DID NOT MOVE… I heard the car quietly return and idle for a time… I DID NOT MOVE.  Finally, their car drove off (for the second time), and my angel said urgently, Okay!  Go NOW! Run to your Father! Which meant, go to the Adoration Chapel located just up the road from me.

I booked-it out of my apartment, remembering to press the button to lock the front door, and ran up the block and a half  the Perpetual (24/7) Adoration Chapel…the same one I had spent much of my time in already that year (see previous writing).  When I arrived, I noticed the two Adorers stationed to sit with our Lord were comfortably in the outside chairs and reading.  This left the front kneelers available of which I took one.

Miracle Number 3… humility forbids me to publish it as part of the Post.  You’ll have to ask me directly for what happened.  Sufficiently to say, all that had occurred in the last two days was revealed to me with a direction concerning my parents and their care over me…

In the months that followed I did not hear from my parent, but I did hear from surrounding family members that seemed to be grasping at straws to see what I would do next.  I never had the desire to punish my parents for their actions, and I still DO NOT desire to even today.  God is the only one justified in punishment for evil.  I’m alive and doing very well.  No retribution do I seek.

What I do seek is their healing which can only happen when they “own-up” to what they did. So much anger, guilt, and resentment has resulted from their actions that any time I see a picture or hear their voices (very rare), they appear OLD and TIRED, as if some massive struggle from within has weakened their physical selves.  They are members of the Catholic Church , despite their cafeteria-way of practicing their faith.  They do have access to the Sacrament of Reconciliation which will begin their journey of healing!

All they have to do is ACCEPT the FREE GIFT of being Reconciled and EMBRACE the Love of God!  I have prayed and offered up petitions at healing Masses for so many years, so the graces ARE AVAILABLE and waiting!  All my family has to do is decrease within themselves so that the Lord may increase and begin to heal them from within utilizing these obtained graces.  I pray and will continue to pray that they will choose and accept healing.

Folks, this site is loaded with the reasoning behind the need for Reconciliation and Redemption.  Utilize what the Holy Spirit has provided us, read, study, learn, and LIVE what He teaches us in these writings.  Come before God, humble and meek, desiring only His goodness all the days of your lives.  God IS Love and Mercy; but He is also a Just Judge:

“…Souls that make and appeal to My Mercy delight Me.  To such souls I grant even more graces then they ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy… before I come as a Just Judge, I first open wide the door of My MercyHe who refuses to pass through the door of My Mercy must pass through the door of My Justice.” ~Diary St Faustina§1146

Previous Posts:

Healing Begins
Part 3 Continues…
Importance of Reconciliation
In Between Things

We Continue…

Recommended Reading:

Weeds Among Wheat
The Great Purification
Accept the Crown


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We continue with the Nitty-Gritty

Posted by Anne Elizabeth on August 1, 2009

Christmas Day


The following day was no better than the proceeding one.  I had had a restless night what with all the commotion that had occurred with the parent.  I was hoping to start a new day, but their (both parents) attitudes towards me were harsh and very critical.  So I had no chance of beginning anew.  The time of opening the presents became a competition to see who had bought the most junk – you would have thought we were a family of 10, not a family of 5 based on the amount of presents there were.  Most of them were junk with no practical purpose behind them.  The materialism did well to diminish the meaning of Christmas — that is the Celebration of the Birth of Christ.


After presents, the next two hours were something of a blur.  Guests were coming over for dinner and I was not permitted to help with dinner.  I don’t honestly remember what I did to occupy time.  When dinner was ready, and our guest had arrived, you would never have known that the day had been filled with stress and critical attitudes.  Pleasant faces and false compliments were overflowing from the hosts.


The roasted chicken (I believe that is what we ate), was very good with fresh vegetables from the garden prepared just so, and a fabulous white wine that accompanied the meal.  I think there might have even been breaded noodles (a family favorite), on the table.  My parent had always been a very good cook, and growing up, my friends always sought after a dinner invitation as they claimed my parent was truly a gourmet cook!  So eating such good food was nothing out of the ordinary for me… until…


I began to notice that the flavors of the meal were really standing-out in a way they’ve never done before.  I think I might have even commented on that and it was joined in by others at the table.  Then I started to notice something else… I was finding it increasingly difficult to keep my eyes open.  Now, if we were eating turkey, I might not have been so suspicious, but we were eating chicken.  I ate every bite on my plate, but refused seconds as I was saving room for dessert, chocolate cream pie (another family favorite).   My fatigue was increasing so I excused myself and went upstairs to lie down for a little while.


As I made my way up the stairs I began to lose my balance and almost went backwards on the stairs.  However, one of my guardian angles literally stood behind me and pushed me forward.  No one got up from their chair to assist me.


I went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed.  I noticed my heart was racing, but I really didn’t think too much about it.  I also noticed that my head was spinning… then the other parent called me down for desert.  I carefully got up, made my way back down stairs (don’t ask me how for I do not know), and sat down to a dessert already prepared for me.  Coffee was in the cup with cream and sugar and a slice of chocolate cream pie was before me.  I thanked them for their consideration in preparing the cup of coffee, checked the sweetness, found it good and began eating my slice of pie.


I was only part way through when I began to BLACK OUT.  Suddenly breathing was a chore and the dizziness from earlier had increased considerably.  Unable to finish either my coffee or my pie, I excused myself again and made it up the stairs (angels were there all the way!), and this time when I laid down I promptly passed out!


I remembered waking up a couple of times to someone talking to me.  I think my sister came in to check on me.  I don’t remember responding much to her question… Somewhere in that time span I had managed to change into pjs from my church dress.  Truly, all that night was something of a blurr.  It was the next morning that surprised me and even a couple of parents…


When I awoke, I was perfectly awake AND feeling perfectly fine, except for a lingering warning-bell that seemed to continuously go off in my head as I quickly dressed and gathered my few belongings.  I noticed that my sister was no where in sight. I proceeded to make my way to the stairs with the persistent warning that I should get home as soon as possible.  It was at that moment, as I began my decent down the stairs, that both parents looked up, and I saw a DISTINCT look of SURPRISE on BOTH faces.


Mind you, the parent who had perpetrated the dinner from the night before was far more surprised than the parent who did nothing to prevent it.  They quickly returned to reading the paper.  But my other parent could not take their wide-eyes off me.  That’s when the warning-bell became a VERY LOUD TRUMPET WARNING, and my angels said in succession: Do not let them prepare you breakfast…do not let them prepare you a drink…do not sit long in their company…get out as fast as you can!


Sure enough, THE parent asked if they could make me breakfast… I politely refused.  They asked if they could make me some coffee or tea and I replied I’d just have some water… They then invited me to sit with them, but I sat at the counter separating the kitchen from the dining room.  There I quickly ate my cereal and drank my water and asked my other parent if my sister was available to drive me home.  They said no, she wasn’t. I then asked them to take me home as soon as possible.  One parent said we could leave within the hour…I asked if we could leave within 20 minutes… God intervened… and they agreed.  At first my OTHER parent declined to come along…  then later as the car was ready to leave they announced they “would come along for the drive”.


It is here that I am going to stop… the events that followed must be told in succession and with the greatest care.  Because what happened next were the second and third miracles that lead to so much growth (and later forgiveness) that has led me to become the person I am today.


To Be Continued…

Previous Posts:

Healing Begins
Part 3 Continues…
Importance of Reconciliation
In Between Things


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